my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
