he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
two words: eviction party
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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