jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
