Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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