Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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