yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
