I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
