Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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