We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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