Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
