my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
