I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Panties = found
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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