He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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