I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Bring me that man meat
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
