Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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