Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
