She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Terrible idea I love it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
