I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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