Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
