My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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