Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize