this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
