So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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