benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't put those talents on a resume
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
