If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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