dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
