I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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