As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
