So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
