Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love having hate sex.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
