I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
