Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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