i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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