The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
