There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
