Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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