I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We need to rekindle our bromance
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
