I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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