i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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