why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
