i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
