After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Still dying that you shit outside
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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