Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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