girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
