some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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