Are we in a gay sports bar?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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