What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
