When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
