My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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