I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
