sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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