i think my mom watched the whole time
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
