I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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