she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Randomize
