I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
