Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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