I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my phone needs a breathalizer
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So much rum. So many feels.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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