So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize