When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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