i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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