yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
