a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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