everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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