Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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