So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Say something about gay babies.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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