What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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