Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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