hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
