He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
