I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We were destined to go to rehab together
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Randomize
