everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
