somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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