C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
