glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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