i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
