Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize