I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
