Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
