I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize