You really coming over, don't trick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
