There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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