Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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