Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
